Through the eyes of a dark Angel
by ashleekaye
Summary: Ashlee didn't know what to do with her life. She cut herself and above all tried killing herself multiple times for fun. This time she went to far, landing her in Grange, a psychiatric hospital. She thought nothing could be worse then she meets Tate. Upon meeting him life changes, maybe just maybe for the better. (this is my first fanfic so be nice:D) Tate/OC
1. I don't belong here

Chapter One

"I don't belong here"

Blood dripped down my arm; warm and inviting. A moment of pain, then another plunge into the dark abyss I went searching for answers. The white bathroom was now stained red. What could I do? Looking up I looked at myself in the mirror; the person staring back at me I didn't recognize. She had long, frizzed out red hair, a blank blue eyed stare with dark bags underneath, and a face as white as snow. It wasn't me! It couldn't be me. Tears formed in my eyes. The pain intensified.

"Go away," I yelled bringing my arms up, digging my nails into my head, "Go away, go away, go away," I started to shake, "Go away, GO AWAY!" I screamed smashing my fist into the mirror sending shards of it everywhere. I was restless, high on the pain that engulfed me. Grabbing a sharp piece of the mirror I looked at the stranger in the mirror one more time and with a smile brought it to my neck.

"Goodbye," I said blankly piercing my skin with the mirror.

* * *

Light, I could see light behind my closed lids. No, not heaven; not after the stunt I pulled. Then there was pain, only pain, pulling me back into reality. My eyes shot open. No, not heaven at all just a room; a small room with white walls, a small twin size bed (of which I was on), a dresser, and a desk in the corner. This was not the hospital I ended up the last five times I pulled a human sacrifice stunt. Where was I? Sitting up I looked around the room again. "Hmm." My throat was dry and I thirsted for food. My neck, oh my neck. My hand shot to my neck, a bandage was there. "Shoot," I said. Mustn't have cut the right spot. Looking down I realized that I wasn't in normal clothes either. The clothes I had on consisted of a white, loose fitting v-neck t-shirt and gray sweatpants. Definitely stuff that I didn't own; I had nothing white or gray in my closet only black. "Where the he-" I said cut off by the door opening. A tall, slender woman, nicely dressed in a suit outfit came in holding a file folder and little cup.

"Oh, you're up," she said smiling at me. Oh great, she smiled so much it made me sick. She was way to nice, she must have someone locked in her basement at home. I cringed at the thought and smiled.

Noticing my discomfort, the woman said, "Oh jeez, where are my manners? My names Dr. Alice Michaels," her hand reached out to mine and I shook it, "I will be your doctor during your stay here at Grange Psychiatric Facility." I looked up at her with shock.

"No, this cannot be right. I DON'T BELONG HERE!" I yelled standing up.

"That's where you're wrong, Ashlee, you do in fact belong here. You need help and I will help you get better," she said calmly.

"What-wh-wh-what about my gram. She didn't just leave me here. Did she?" I said tears forming in my eyes as I looked at her. My poor gram. She's been taking care of me ever since my mom died of an overdose when I was 11 and my dad left when I was 12. Guess he couldn't handle it, but my gram was always there for me even when I thought I didn't want her to be; she was there.

The doctor looked down at me, "I'm sorry Ashlee, but your gram…after that accident…" she paused, "She couldn't handle it anymore," she said looking at me with pity in her eyes.

Rage filled me, taking every fiber of my being and turning it into rage.

"NO," I screamed pushing passed the doctor vacating the room. I ran down the hall towards the nearest exit.

"Get her," the doctor yelled.

I almost reached the door when something heavy hit me, then everything went black.

* * *

2-3 hours later

When I woke up, I had hoped that this was all just one big dream and I would be in my big comfy bed at home, but of course that's not how it was, I was in the same room I was before except something was different. There was now a big, burly man sitting in a chair in the corner of the room snoring and me, well, I was heavily sedated. Looking around I picked up a pillow and hurled it at the man. He shot up, "What the he-"

Then he looked at me. "Oh _you're_ up," he said reaching for the door. He paused before leaving and looked at me, "Take those," he said pointing to the pills and cup of water on the nightstand. I hesitated. "Now," he said irritably. I obeyed throwing the green and blue pills in my mouth and gulping the water. "Good," he said leaving the room.

"What an asshole," I said sitting up. What to do in this shithole; stare at the wall and hope it gets interesting. "Great, just great," I said then paused, looking at a notebook on the dresser. My journal! My spirit leapt as I reached for it bringing it into my arms.

"Your grandma thought you might want that. She said it's joint on the hip with you, anywhere you go, the journal goes as well," the doctor said startling me. She was in the doorway, her arms were crossed.

"Sorry, I didn't realize you were there," I said looking up at her.

"Oh no continue. Don't let me being here stop you," she said, "But I do have to fill you in on what exactly we do here at Grange, so stop by my office as soon as you can so I can get you acquainted."

I nodded my head. "Good," she said, "See you later." Dr. Michaels left the room.

I looked down at my journal. "Thank god," I said looking down at the familiar book tracing the letters "Ashlee's Journal: Stay out bitches!" on the front. Taking a deep breath I opened my journal letting the thoughts flow through my head once again.


	2. Infamous

Chapter Two

Infamous

I stalked into the room hurriedly and slid into the chair at Dr. Michaels desk. I was in a rush to get back to my journal, new thoughts poured into my head each second I was wasting going to Dr. M's office. She had called me in for something, but I didn't know what yet.

"What up doc?" I said.

I had been here a month now and everything just seemed so robotic; same shit, different day. Looking out the window everything seemed beautiful, so untouched; so un-corrupted. Doc was saying something about my room and blahblahblah was the rest.

"Ashlee…Ashlee….ASHLEE," Dr. Michaels hissed bringing me back into reality.

I looked up, letting her know I was now paying attention.

"What is this about Dr. M? I got places to go people to meet," I scoffed crossing my arms around me. This was bullshit; I was having a lot of fun writing in my journal before this bitch bothered me.

"Ashlee, you have been here for a month now and I think its time you get a roommate," She said with worry in her eyes, not knowing if I was going to scream, yell, and fight it or love the idea and go with it.

I looked down, I didn't need a roommate. It was all just a bullshit idea. I wasn't about to get some snot-nosed brat who poked her head in my business all the time.

"No," I said finally meeting my gaze with hers. Her eyes turned to stone, "Now Ashlee, everyone here gets a roommate eventually you should be happy. The girl moving in is re-" "No," I ordered standing up. Without thought I headed towards the door.

"Ashlee, where are you going?" She asked standing. "Ashlee you are getting a roommate whether you like it or not," She said finally. I stopped at the door, then turned and met her hard gaze. "Well, it seems like this session of you telling what I'm going to do turned out so well again," I affirmed with stone in my voice.

Whipping the door open I went to stalk out when I walked into something hard. Looking up I realized I ran into someone. He had curly blonde hair, the blackest eyes I have ever seen, and a black Nirvana shirt followed by torn up jeans; he was attractive.

"Watch it asshole," I snarled meeting his black stare. Realizing how much of an idiot I looked like I stalked off back to my room.

BAM! I slammed the door shut behind me and slid to the floor grabbing my journal from the nightstand. I think I just met the love of my life and I was the biggest bitch to him and I didn't even know his name yet, but I knew if there was anyone out there for me he'd be it.

* * *

The cafeteria food here sucked. It looked like someone had eaten the food and spit it back out onto the plate and that's what they served us. Today was meatloaf Tuesday, my favorite day of the week. It had been two days since my encounter with the handsome guy and I hadn't seen him since. Sitting down at my table, the table in the corner away from everyone else, I dug in starting with the mashed potatoes. Everyone made it their job to stay away from me. Within the first week of being here I got into four fights all of which resulted in the other person covered in bruises and their own blood. It wasn't good to get on my bad side and everyone here knew it. I was like the queen; queen of Grange. I smiled at the thought. Looking up I almost spit out my food as I saw Mr. Dark and Handsome standing by the table looking down at me, smiling.

"Oh hey, I didn't notice you standing there," I said quickly grabbing a napkin wiping the food off the corners of my mouth; my cheeks burned red.

"You always make it a point to sit away from everyone else?" He inquired his voice soft.

"Well, I just prefer my own company I guess," I said shrugging, "You can sit down if you want," I continued nodding to the seat across from me.

"Thanks," he said sitting down, his dark gaze met mine and he smiled. "I'm Tate by the way," he said reaching his hand out. I, of course, shook it; electricity pulsed through my veins and his hands were unbelievably soft.

"I'm Ashlee," I said pulling my hand back after realizing I had been shaking it for too long; by now my whole face burned.

He smiled, "I know, you're kind of infamous around here," he said looking around the room. Eyes that were on us moved away quickly not wanting to piss me off, I was used to that kind of attention by now.

"Yeah I know I can be a little bit bossy," I said with a smile remembering the day we met.

"A little," he said sarcastically, "You called me an asshole the first time we met even though you're the one that ran into me."

"Whatever," I said stabbing a forkful of meatloaf and bringing it to my lips.

Getting the subject off the subject of my bitchy ways I said, "So what did you do to get yourself stuck in this shithole, Tate?"

Tate stopped eating, looked up at me and stared; I met his gaze.

"So, fine you don't want to talk about it I understand," I said. Mysterious and sexy, I thought to myself.

"What did you do?" he asked "You don't look crazy," he said returning to his cute smile.

"Well thank you. It's not everyday that I hear that I don't look crazy," I said sarcastically. Lifting my head I showed him the scar on my neck then I reached my arms out showing him the scars on there as well. He didn't look phased; it didn't bother him. This guy really was my soul mate!

"I went a little too far last time," I said bringing my arms back.

"So you wanna die?" he asked meeting his black eyes with mine. No one had ever asked me that question before. Did I want to die? I thought to myself.

"No," I said finally, "I just wanted to see if anyone cared."

"I know the feeling," he said with his eyes still on mine. I gulped; I wanted him so bad. I had never met someone before that within 30 minutes of knowing them I wanted to jump their bones. It was intoxicating. It had been months since that last time I had gotten any and now…well now I was extremely horny.

Testing the waters, I brought my foot out of my black combat boots and ran it along his leg, going up farther and farther. His eyes widened and I gave him a wicked grin.

"W-w-we should go somewhere," he stammered putting his trash quickly onto his tray.

"Yeah, we should," I said pulling my foot back into my boot.

We raced out of the cafeteria and made our way down the hall quickly.

"So where do you wanna go?" He asked bringing his arm around my waist.

"My room," I said stopping as I pointed to the door. I pushed open the door fast and brought him inside pulling him into a long, hot kiss. Feeling eyes on me, I pulled back and realized that we were not alone in the room.

"Who the HELL are you?" I practically yelled to the petite blonde sitting on the bed in the corner cradling a doll staring at us. She just stared. "Well….you going to answer me or am I going to have to beat it out of you?" I said moving closer to the girl. She looked at me, her gray eyes wide.

"I-I-I-I'm y-y-your ne-ne-new roo-roo-roommate," she stuttered hugging her doll tightly.

I stepped back, that bitch of a doctor was right, I was getting a roommate. Grabbing Tate tightly by the t-shirt I dragged him out of the room.

"Lets go," I snarled and we walked out of the room. Oh yeah I was pissed.


	3. Dark Angel

Chapter 3

Dark Angel

Rage filled every inch of my body as I fast walked down the hall, Tate trailed behind me.

"I don't think this is a good idea," he said grabbing my arm. I swung around and pushed against his chest stopping him.

"Don't even get me started Tate. If you don't wanna come then don't come, but I got shit I need to do, so either come with me or stay the fuck out of my way," I barked. Tate stood there taken aback from my fury.

"Fine," he said walking off. I felt bad, but he didn't understand. He couldn't understand. I swung on my heel and headed towards Doc's office. She was in for it big time. Her office was right in front of me, mocking me. I pushed the door open slowly and crept to her desk. She had earphones in and looked busy, but I didn't care. She was a bitch for what she did. I took the paper weight in the shape of a diamond off her desk and slammed it against the wall hard, causing a dent. Doc gasped and looked at me, fear was in her eyes.

"ASHLEE," she yelled standing.

"Why did you do it," I fumed holding my fists in balls on the side of my body tight. Blood dripped from my hands, but I didn't care.

"Ashlee you are overreacting," she said calmly. "Now sit down and let's talk," she said pointing to the seat.

"Overreacting…OVERREACTING," I yelled. "I am not overreacting Doc. I told you I did not want a roommate! Get that little pixie bitch out of MY ROOM, NOW!" I screamed. Doc reached up and put her hand on my shoulder. "Calm down Ashlee," she said.

"I will NOT CALM DOWN," I said pulling away from her grasp. "Get her away…get her away…GET HER AWAY, GET HER AWAY!" I yelled bringing my hands up, digging my nails into my head hard. I was shaking, it wouldn't stop. I couldn't stop.

"GET HER AWAY…get her away….get her away," my voice shook as I sat down in the seat. Doc stood across from me, still calm. My anger subsided and all that was left was tears, streaming down my face in puddles. I brought my hands down and stared at them in horror they were covered in blood, my blood. My stomach flipped and I looked at Doc.

"Oh-oh dear," Doc croaked. "We need a nurse in here," Doc yelled running out of the room. My vision got blurry and then blackness, it swirled around me covering me in it till I could see no more, then feel no more, then I fell to the ground hard. I couldn't move.

"Ashlee…Ashlee," a distant voice yelled. I tried to yell, but I couldn't all there was, was blackness.

* * *

I woke up in my room much later. It was dark outside. Pulling myself up I looked at my hands, they were wrapped in bandages. I felt groggy and heavily sedated. Looking over my new roommate was sleeping. I had the urge to reach across and drag her out of the room by her hair, but I was way too tired and frankly wasn't in the mood. Then there was a light tap on my door. Who the hell was at my door at this hour? I thought to myself as I found the energy to get myself out of the bed and to the door. I cracked the door slightly and looked out, it was Tate; he was in a black t-shirt with an anarchy symbol on it in white and red and black flannel pj bottoms.

"What are you doing here Tate?" I asked furrowing my eyebrows, giving him my look from hell.

"I wanted to see how you were and I wanted to say sorry for earlier I had no right," he said with pity in his eyes.

"It's fine," I said. "I was kind of a bitch to you and I did overreact to the whole situation. This happens to me all the time. I don't know why though, I just freak out over nothing sometimes," I explained. I never openly admitted that to anyone before; I guess there's a first for everything. He looked down at me, his black eyes looking fierce.

"I guess we all have that one thing that we do that we're not exactly proud of," he said reaching up pushing hair off my face sending electric waves through my whole body. I wanted him so bad in that moment, though I wondered what exactly he meant by that. I grabbed his hand and kissed it then looked back up at him. He was so tall compared to me; we were the perfect height for each other. He looked at me with a wicked grin then kissed me hard. He pushed me against the wall fast and closed the door behind him. I needed him right then and there. I pulled him closer and ran my fingers through his blonde, curly hair. His hands trailed slowly down my body as we kissed. I stopped quickly, remembering that Pixie was in the room sleeping.

"What?" he said pulling back. I nodded towards the bed Pixie was on.

"Oh," he said. "What a bummer," he said giving me puppy dog eyes.

"I no," I sighed. "I wish we could in here, but unfortunately Pixie is staying"

"Pixie?" he said. "Is that her name?" He asked.

"No, but sense I don't know her name yet, that's what she will be referred to till I find out I guess," I said moving away from him flopping onto my bed.

"Hmm, it's fitting," he said sitting down beside me. He reached for my journal, but I grabbed it fast.

"What do you think your doing?" I said hugging my journal tightly to my chest. He was taken aback.

"I just wanted to see what it was," he said laying back on my bed.

"It's my journal and no you will not get to see inside it EVER," I said reaching across him setting it back down on my nightstand. In the process of leaning back he pushed me on him, straddling him.

I laughed, "Tate we can't do anything with my roommate in here," I said smiling down at him.

"We don't have to….if you don't _want _to," he said with a grin, knowing very well how much I wanted to. I groaned bringing my head back. "You're insane you know that, right?" I said hitting his chest lightly. He laughed at my torture.

"You have no idea," he said with a devilish grin. "You know you have the prettiest eyes I have ever seen in my whole life, right?" he said grinning.

"Oh thank you for your praise Tate, Mr. Dark and Sexy man," I said flipping my hair back, teasing.

"You think I'm dark and sexy?" he asked grinning at me.

"Since the first moment I called you an asshole," I said laughing down at him.

"I like admiring you," he said as his black eyes intensified. He was watching me like a tiger watches its prey and I was wanting, waiting for his attack. I looked down at him needing him and he knew it too, I could feel it. He brought his hands up pushing my wavy, red hair off my face and he pushed me closer into a long, hot kiss. I gave up and gave in at that very moment letting him flip me down onto the bed. He was on top of me trailing me with kisses on my neck. I moaned running my hands through his curly hair. His hands wondered all over my body then reaching underneath my t-shirt, my whole body responding to his every touch. Glad I wasn't wearing a bra, I thought to myself smiling. He stopped and pulled my face towards his, our eyes locked.

"Ashlee, I have been dreaming about this moment since the first moment I met you," he said gazing down at me.

"Me too," I said reaching up kissing his neck. He let out a moan. "Oh Ashlee I want all of you right here, now," he said pushing his body down on mine. "Me too," I whispered into his ear kissing it. He groaned and pulled my shirt off in one swift moment exposing my naked chest.

"Fuck me Tate," I said laying my head against the pillow gazing up at him. Tate growled and slowly began trailing kisses down my body till he reached my sweat pants. He pulled them off fast removing my underwear as well. Tate got onto his knees straddling me and pulled of his shirt. Damn did he look good, the moonlight from outside lit his pale muscular chest. I sat up in response and started trailing kisses above his jeans on his stomach.

"Shit," he said moaning, "You're teasing me."

"And you know you like it," I said grinning up at him. Then I unbuttoned his jeans, in response he ripped off his jeans and boxers fast and threw them across the room. His body pushed down on top of mine.

"Tate, please," I begged my sex below growing wetter in response to our naked bodies. Tate kissed me roughly and pushed himself inside me. I let out a moan.

"Oh Tate," I said digging my fingernails into his back. He eased himself slowly at first in and out.

"Faster," I moaned gripping him tightly against me. He obliged speeding up pace and continued kissing my neck.

"Fuck," he breathed slamming into me as steadied his hands on the wall behind me. I looked up at him breathing heavy, his eyes were closed and he was biting his lip hard.

"Tate," I moaned my nails dragging hard against his back. My body was giving in to every sensation about to explode. Spasms went through my body and I let out a loud moan. Tate's hand moved to my mouth quieting me as he shuttered above me with a moan. He rolled off me, laying back on the bed face towards me, studying me.

"Ashlee that was…was wonderful," he said. "The greatest moment in my entire life," he continued caressing my cheek. I never felt this way towards a person in my whole life. Tate filled the void in my life, he was everything.

"Tate….I-I think I love you," I said looking deep into his black eyes.

"Me too," he said. "Ashlee you are an angel….my dark angel," he said bringing my hand to his heart. A single tear rolled down my cheek, dark angel, I liked the sound of that.


	4. Secrets Pt1

Chapter 4

Secrets Pt.1

I lay there silently as light peeked through the blinds. It was morning, my eyes shot open. Shit! I better get Tate out of here before Pixie wakes up. Looking over at Tate he looked so peaceful, innocent and uncorrupted. I wondered what he had done to get into this place to begin with. He never told me and to be honest it kind of bothered me; I told him my secret why couldn't he tell me his? I loved Tate and respected his privacy, but what could such a sweet guy do to get in here? Maybe he was a killer, a psychopath and went nuts. I grimaced. Shaking the thought from my head I reached over and kissed him on the lips lightly. He kissed back in response letting me know he was awake. His eyes opened and locked with mine.

"Best alarm clock ever," he said smiling.

"You're funny," I said grinning. "As much as I would love for you to stay and cuddle with me all morning, you have to go before Pixie gets up."

He groaned. "This sucks," he said lifting himself up revealing his perfect chest. He was so perfect, what did he do? I stared at him get up and get back into his clothes. He saw me staring; I went crimson.

"What?" he said pulling his shirt over his head.

"Nothing," I said breaking my stare. He grinned at me, knowing very well that I was lying.

"Okay whatever you say," he said sitting back down beside me, giving me the infamous puppy dog eyes. I groaned and stretched back like a cat.

"I was just…just wondering," I paused looking back up at him not sure how to word it.

"Go on," he said looking into my eyes, "I won't be offended, I promise," he said grabbing my hand.

"I was wondering what you did to get in here….you don't seem crazy," I said looking at him, studying his face as it fell. He just sat there staring at me.

"Tate," I said waving my hand in front of his face trying to get his attention. "Tate."

He stood up fast. "I gotta go," he said as he rushed out of the room without a goodbye.

Why couldn't he just tell me? How bad could it be? I thought to myself as I lay back on the bed covering myself in blankets. Well, it's just going to have to wait till later, I thought closing my eyes.

* * *

The cafeteria was large and white, very white and clean. I walked in and grabbed a tray; it was Beef Stew Wednesday. Great, this shit was gross as hell. Looking over at my table I saw Tate, he was sitting there with his head in his hands, he looked sad. Taking a breath and milk I headed towards my table.

"HEY," someone said tapping on my shoulder. I turned it was Pixie with her blonde curls bouncing beside her.

"Oh hey Pixie, what's up?" I said obviously uninterested in what she had to say.

"Oh I'm good. Is this our table?" she asked pointing to the table I was heading towards.

"No," I said stopping and grabbing her shoulder, stopping her. "It's MY table," I barked. "Sit at one of the other tables," I said pointing to the other tables in the room. Pixie's blue eyes fell to the ground; she looked hurt. My conscience my starting to catch up with me and I felt bad.

"Then what is he doing at _your_ table?" she asked pointing to Tate.

"Fine…you know what, whatever, sit with us. I don't care," I said annoyed at Pixie's irritating questions. Pixie squeaked out loudly with joy. Oh joy, I thought to myself giving her my f-u smile. I walked fast to the table. Tate looked up. Tate and I really needed to talk, but Pixie was here, how annoying, I thought to myself.

"Hey Tate," I breathed sitting down across from him, not sure how he was going to react. His eyes were bloodshot; he had obviously been crying.

"I'm sorry for earlier Ashlee," he pleaded giving me the puppy eyes. He reached out and touched my hand and I looked into his eyes.

Pixie broke the moment with, "HEY guys, I'm Flora Applebee," she said sitting down beside me. "But sense Ashlee likes to call me Pixie, you guys can just call me that instead. I like Pixie," she beamed happily looking at us.

"Great," I mumbled bringing my attention to the nasty food on my tray.

"Nice to meet you Pixie," Tate said looking at her smiling.

"So, are you guys like a couple?" Pixie asked, I almost spit out a mouthful of stew.

"I-um," I stuttered. Tate interjected "Yeah I guess we kind of are," he said beaming at me waiting for my reaction.

"Yup I guess we are," I said smiling.

"That's cute," Pixie said, "You guys make a really adorable couple," she said taking a sip of her milk happily.

"Thanks," I said. I guess our fight was over, but I still wanted to know what he did.

The next twenty minutes were spent on us getting to know each other and to be honest I kind of liked Pixie. She was really nice and plus it's not like I had any other friends to go to, so Pixie worked for now on.

"So are you excited for Christmas?" Pixie asked joyfully looking at us. Christmas was my favorite holiday and it was only two days away; it was the only holiday I wasn't really depressed.

"Yes, I guess I am," I beamed. "It's the one day of the year I'm not depressed," I said smiling.

"Mine too," she said. Pixie made me happier. Happiness just projected off of her, like a force field. "I wonder what they do around here for Christmas?" she asked.

"I'm really not sure, but I could ask Doc. It would be cool to decorate cookies like at home and look nice," I said.

"Yeah you should ask Dr. Michaels, that would be fun!" she squealed. Her overexcitement brought a smile to my lips and it made me wonder what did she do?

"So what did you do to get in here?" I asked looking at Pixie.

"Well I have severe multi-personality disorder," she said. "My other half is Christine a hardcore partier and drug addict." I gawked at her; she didn't seem like the person to do drugs let alone drink.

"Wow," I said.

"Yeah, I know it seems weird, doesn't it?" She said sipping her milk.

"So what did you do?" she asked. I sighed and lifted my neck exposing the scar, she gasped. Then I lifted my arms, revealing the scars on my wrists.

"So you tried to kill yourself?" she asked.

"Yep, more than once, I just went a little too far this time," I said slouching in my seat.

"Tell me what you did each time," she asked now intrigued in my depressing life.

"Well, the first time I downed a whole bottle of vicodin; they ended up pumping my stomach it was gross. The second time, I was heavily drugged out on coke and E and ended up in a teenage rehabilitation center for a year; I have been clean ever since. The third time I tried hanging myself, but the branch broke and I just ended up with a huge bruise on my neck and an immense headache. The fourth time I sliced my wrists a little too deep vertically. The fifth time that landed me in this place was when I tried slitting my throat with a broken piece of a mirror," I said calmly; both Pixie and Tate were now staring at me.

"Wow, I didn't know you tried to kill yourself 5 times," Tate said with wide eyes.

"Cool," Pixie said. "Do you still have a death wish?" she asked. I laughed at her use of death wish.

"Not really," I said. "Not since I've been here. I actually think I'm getting better," I said smiling.

The table got really quiet; breaking the silence I said to Pixie, "At first I do have to admit that I didn't like you."

Pixie grinned, "I totally couldn't tell," she said sarcastically. I smiled remembering when we met.

"I can come off a little odd and over excited to new people," she said. "I'm trying to work on it though."

We all laughed.

_Later that day…_

Without knocking I walked into Doc's office. She looked up from her desk.

"Hello Ashlee," she said in her same soothing voice. "What can I do for you?" she asked.

"Well, I came to ask you a question," I said sitting down in the comfy seat across from hers.

"Shoot," she said then her phone rang loudly with some instrumental music I couldn't recognize.

"One second," she said pointing to me. "Hello…yes….I do have that….it's in the basement files….yes…yes….I'll get them," she said into the phone. Getting up Doc said, "I will be right back," as she headed out of the room.

A devious thought shot into my head then; I could steal Tate's file. It was the perfect crime and only way to settle the crazy thoughts waging war in my head. Shooting up from my seat I ran to the file cabinet and opened it up. "Langdon…Langdon…Langdon," I said flipping through the files.

"LANGDON," I said excitedly spotting the file. "Okay lets see what you did Tate," I said opening the file.

…..to be continued.


	5. Secrets Pt 2

Chapter 5

Secrets Pt.2

_Previously…_

"One second," she said pointing to me. "Hello…yes….I do have that….it's in the basement files….yes…yes….I'll get them," she said into the phone. Getting up Doc said, "I will be right back," as she headed out of the room.

A devious thought shot into my head then; I could steal Tate's file. It was the perfect crime and only way to settle the crazy thoughts waging war in my head. Shooting up from my seat I ran to the file cabinet and opened it up. "Langdon…Langdon…Langdon," I said flipping through the files.

"LANGDON," I said excitedly spotting the file. "Okay lets see what you did Tate," I said opening the file.

_Now…._

Realizing Doc would be back soon I grabbed the papers inside the folder and slid them into my journal pocket and put the file back into the cabinet. Closing the cabinet I headed back to my seat; the papers burned in my journal and anticipation killed me. Soon I would find out what Tate's big secret was and it was literally killing me. I slumped back into the seat in just enough time; the door swung open and in walked Dr. Michaels. She looked flustered.

"Sorry about that Ashlee. A doctor from Stockton called and she needed some information faxed to her immediately," she said sitting back into her chair.

I laughed, "Really it's fine." I grinned at her sympathy.

"So what did you wanna ask me?" she asked giving me her full attention.

"I was wondering what we did for Christmas around here?" I asked. She looked at me curiously.

"Well, not much, just a special dinner and tree," she said. Noticing my disappointment Doc said, "Did you have any ideas?"

"Well, I think it would be nice to be able to dress up in nice clothes and maybe decorate cookies," I said looking at her with pleading eyes.

She smiled. "I'll talk it over with my colleagues and see what we can do," she said.

"Okay thanks. It really means a lot," I said giving her a smile.

"Its nice seeing you smile. You have a very pretty one you know," she said smiling at me.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"Well, I'm sure you have better things to do than talk to an old lady like me, so if you don't have any more questions then head out and play cards or something and I'll defiantly talk the Christmas thing over with my colleagues," she said shooing me out jokingly.

"Okay," I giggled. "See you later," I said walking out of her office.

Now down to business. I rushed down the hall to my room. Pushing open the door I ran to my bed and grabbed the papers out of my journal. Pixie wasn't in the room. Thank god, the last thing I wanted to do was have to explain these files to her; not that I didn't trust her, but I haven't met her counterpart yet and wasn't sure if letting her in on this was such a good idea. Pulling my focus back to the task at hand I looked down at the papers in front of me.

"What did you do Tate?" I whispered to myself as I looked at the picture of him wearing a grin paperclipped to the papers. Unclipping the picture I looked down at the first page.

_Grange Psychiatric Facility for Troubled Adolescence_

_Patient: Tate Thomas Langdon_

_Date of Birth: April 20, 1977_

_Admittance Date: December 18, 1994_

_Notes: Langdon has signs of severe depression and bi-polar disorder. He also has a past of self-harm and drug use._

_Reasons of admittance: see Westfield Massacre Los Angeles Police Department report._

_Medications: Zyprexa, Zoloft_

Flipping the page I saw the police report.

_Los Angeles Police Department_

_Location: Westfield High School, Los Angeles, CA_

_Date: December 11, 1994_

_On December 11, the alleged Tate Langdon (17), opened fire at Westfield High School. Langdon shot and killed 15 people (the victims below) and shot at the librarian, David Moss, for reasons still unknown. Langdon was declared psychotic after heavy interrogation and will be sent to Grange Psychiatric Facility for Troubled Adolescence on December 18__th__ for further examination._

_Victims: Stephanie Boggs, Alice Stein, Dean Bellman, Jay Jackson, Daniel Crayton, Josh Finn, Sam Salcedo, Max Rising, Chloe Stapleton, Kevin Meyers, Andrew Peedle, Amy Greene, Kyle Wright, Michael Fuller, and Daisy Little._

I couldn't believe my eyes. He killed 15 people; 15 PEOPLE! A lump formed in my throat.

"No, no, no, no, NO!" I screamed throwing the papers. How could he do something so terrible? Hot tears fell from my face. Tate was psychotic. How could I love a psycho? A PSYCHO!

"He's fucking insane!" I screamed throwing my hands above my head. Just then the door opened and in walked the psycho himself; he was laughing.

"So you totally missed out on watching Pixie flip out on one of the nurses. She put up a good fight and bit him. Literally BIT HIM," he said. "She's in total lockdown now though."

I stared at him not sure what to say or do. Tate looked at me, noticing something was off he said, "What's wrong?"

I jumped back from him and screamed, "GET YOUR PYSCHOTIC ASS AWAY FROM ME!" Tate was taken aback.

"Wh-what did I do?" he asked giving me his puppy eyes.

"Oh don't play stupid you psychotic asshole. I know what you did," I sneered pointing at him. His eyes widened.

"You know about Westfield?" he said throwing his hands in his pockets nervously.

"Yes, I know about Westfield and you-you're a KILLER!" I yelled stepping back.

Tears formed in his eyes and he looked down.

"How?" he asked.

"How else? I stole your file dipshit," I growled. Tate took a breath and looked up at me with pleading eyes.

"I-I'm sorry," he said stepping closer to me.

"Your sorry….YOUR SORRY! YOU KILLED 15 PEOPLE AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS YOUR SORRY! WHY TATE WHY!" I screamed.

Tate stepped closer to me his eyes pleading. I grabbed the lamp off my desk and hurled it at him. It missed and hit the door behind him with a loud crash.

"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU KILLER!" I screamed. With that two big, male nurses ran into the room.

"What's going on," they said in unison.

"GET HIM AWAY…..GET HIM AWAY….GET HIM AWAY!" I screamed pointing to Tate.

One of them grabbed Tate and all I could do was scream. The other one came over to me and tried to get me to stop, but I couldn't. I continued to scream, awakening Grange with my loud shrill. When I couldn't scream anymore I fell to my knees and sobbed uncontrollably. That's all I could do because the man I thought I loved was a killer and that took the life right out of me. I guess some secrets are better left unknown.

* * *

**By the way Zyprexa and Zoloft helps people with severe or psychotic depression.**

**Good? Bad? Tell me what you think? **

**~ashleekaye**


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